Yours, Anally

Relationships require a certain level of trust and excitement to keep things interesting. The most tasteful aspect in a relationship are the partners' sex lives. It embodies not only their emotions and feelings for one another, but also their desire and trust for each other. So it's no surprise that when my good friend approached me with her fears of Anal Sex with her boyfriend, I started to think.

As an adolescent peaking the prime of sexual awakening, one of our most deviant desires is to find that special someone to give your "innocence" to; someone you can trust, with whom is mutually and exclusively devoted to your feelings and desires. It takes a strong level of trust to allow someone into you, to penetrate you, and break you out of the sheltered shell in that of virginity. And the most actively thought out worry is that it will hurt. It wouldn't quite be like giving yourself to a stranger, you see - they don't know you, nor do they know how to handle you. And the moment the hymen breaks, or in general - the moment you allow someone into you for the first time, is a moment that you cannot replace.

When you're in a monogamous long-term relationship, Anal sex can be the most emotionally and physically pleasurable experiences you can experience. Loving someone to the extreme of giving that to them is amazing, and reliving a pseudo-virgin moment you, in most cases, either gave away carelessly or mistakenly, can spark an intense and more deeper (no pun intended) connection to your lover.

The thing that is most amazing about Anal sex is that it relives that one moment almost every time. No doubt it takes trust to allow it to happen, to know the man well enough that he knows how to handle you. Most men and perfect strangers are eager to just jam it in and get to it, failing to acknowledge the steps required to make it work - including the 30-second sting phase where you feel a terrible burning pain almost (usually) impossible to handle till that 30 seconds is up, and the sting dissipates. While bearing that first entry moment can be excruciatingly painful, getting passed it is when that moment starts to really live to your expectations - assuming of course your expectations were more higher than low.

The moment of entry will go however you allow it to. If you're tense and squirmy, it will be painful, as your anus muscle tightens and the canals of the anal wall swell. Steady breathing and relaxation is key.

The most common worry about Anal sex is the accident of leaving behind a chocolate surprise. And in most cases, it usually happens if you fail to navigate through the steps required to make Anal sex a success. Diet, for instance, plays a large part. Eating fatty foods and spicy foods is probably not the best idea if you plan on getting it up your tush. Some people don't eat anything at all the day of Anal sex, but starving yourself can prove to be awkward. You don't want your stomach growling while he's trying to or getting it in. I personally suggest eating light, salads and soft fluids. Timing your food and digesting is also a big key-point. Eating 5 hours before sex, and passing a bowel movement 2 hours before. And of course the cleansing / douching process an hour or two before anal. Yes, you CAN douche your ass. Summer's Eve works well, but if you find yourself shame-ridden and can't face buying it, a home enema can be conducted out of a rinsed and sanitized empty 15.9oz shampoo bottle, filled with warm soaped water; pulling off/unscrewing the nozzle to expose a small diameter that, when lubricated, can be placed just into your anus. Repeat the douche process 2-4 times.

A lot of people always ask "Well, what if you didn't plan the anal sex?" Frankly there's no such thing as unplanned Anal sex. If you want it to be clean and pleasurable, it NEEDS to be planned, or you at least need to be prepared.

When you are confident with yourself in knowing you took care of your shit (literally), by knowing the steps you took to prepare yourself, almost nothing can go wrong. But if you're nervous and afraid, well, "Scared Shitless" really can be more than an expression.