My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

“Be Where?”

Over the weeks and months I have realized that Thou Shall Not Be Hurried. A good friend of mine, Nikki, and her ex-lover-to-be John have been going through this loophole of making-up-to-break-up situations. I looked at them and decided they have two options:

1) They can both stop reflecting their current feelings for each other based on what’s happened in the Past and work on what can happen in the Present, and the Future.
2) They can both just stop, period.

They remind me so much of my ex… the crash of the new millennium. They’re so in love but yet, so detached because of what has happened several times before and it seems no matter how much they do care for each other, and love each other, they just can’t seem to get around making things work. So they broke up, at least for now.

In the city of New York, where Holidays are celebrated for how much (in terms of Profit) something’s worth, rather than how Priceless (in terms of Value) it really is… it’s no surprise that you never really get what you truly want. We exchange Currency for Presents that don’t flock our interest; Inadequacy for Gift Cards at stores we don’t even like; Hatred for Greeting Cards that don’t really mean what’s written; and practically our Bodies for the sake of wanting to have someone’s company, rather than being alone.

It’s amazing the things we resort to just to have something slightly similar to what we want. People have sex just to feel wanted, and go on Dates just to have something to say for when they find themselves pummeled by lovelorn couples who ask if you’re seeing anyone special.
I’m not sure what I have to say for myself. I’ve been down the road and back up, I’ve dated almost every eligible bachelor there is and still come out biting my tongue because of the rather humiliating result(s). This is Life. You can’t be hurried, so you have to be patient. When you’re not in love, you have to be lonely (at least for the time being). And when you’re dying on the inside because Life’s short-comings make you feel as though there’s nothing out there for you… you ask yourself: “Where am I going?”

I don’t speak for the whole world, or even a fragment of the City of New York, but I do speak for myself when I say sometimes it’s the best thing to celebrate something special with you, yourself. You know… you! The body you’ve been born into and came into the world in; the person behind those eyes of screaming solace; the person who you’ve been for your whole life (literally) and gotten through the hardest of times.
I’m not implying that you should be some sort of self-important, egotistical prude but for crying out loud… why do we have to rely on others to gain this clarity? Why can’t we just thank life itself for whatever it’s given us, whether it’s good or bad?

As for me, well I’m not sure what I want for Christmas. But I do know that whatever it is that I want--can’t be any worse than what I’ve gone through.
But then I realized… I do know what I want for Christmas.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

its me you want for christmas riley you sexy stud:P signed your BeeMan:X

December 12, 2004 6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Riley, Firsly I know you wanted me for Christmas...I just adore reading this stuff...Your a splended writer and i learn so much from your posts..of shit you go thru..Your a great guy I luv ya dude and wish you the best of luck

January 03, 2005 11:17 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home