My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

“The End of an Era”

Today, me and Jason had a never-ending settlement... but it ended, literally. We decided... well, I DECIDED, to move on, let go, forget, and relive. He couldn't come to accept that because he's such an Obsessive-Compulsive PRICK. He's over there thinking he can string me along for another year just cuz HE feels it's right. It's always about him, never about me. He never ONCE took any considering as to how I feel, what I want... what I need. He thinks he's the center of the fucking universe. And everytime I tried to break it off, completely, and officially with him... he somehow found a way to lure me in, to carry me through the loophole all over again. This time I'm through. I realized what he really is..... a fucking sentimental, ego-centric, self-important, pompous PRICK who tries to get everything he wants... and when he realizes he CAN'T... he turns into a fucking schizophrenic, an A.D.H.D. case, and overall.... a different person. I never really loved HIM. And it's ironic cuz before we said our goodbyes, he called me a liar; saying that I never loved him... but pretended I did. Maybe he's right. I never loved him..... but that's only cuz I never got to know the REAL him without him always having to change his personality on me, just to try to fit into my standards... just to try to fit in -- in general. I was a fool to actually think that he may be the one, that I may spend the rest of my life with him... that Fairy-Tale endings actually DO exist. Because they DON'T. And now I finally realize that. I don't know what to consider him to me... an ex? a former friend? or possibly even my psychotic patient? HA. Who knows. It seems to me that he tried to use me to try to figure himself out. As to what he wants, where he stands.... who he is. And I didn't realize that until after we OFFICIALLY broke up. For better or for worse? For better. It kinda mad me feel bad for the fact being that he was pretty loyal even while I was trying to break up with him, officially... I mean; he was telling me what he thinks is right; for us to fight the issues and whatnot.... but then I remembered that he's a raging split-personality disorderly, and totally flicked him off. Hell, I even told him to forget my name..... but only because he called me a liar. Which was harsh, on both our parts. It's true... I never loved him. The real him at least. But then again..... do we ever love somebody for who they really are? I have a thought...... they say we never really know the one we love, which is true..... but when you think about it, how can we EVER really know someone if we keep setting these standards, that causes them to try to live up, own up, and fit in to those 'standards' ?


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