My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

“Running Away”

In life, we’re all bounded by choices. We choose to eat, we choose to sleep, we choose to work, we choose to help, we choose to take a shower, we choose to take a piss or a shit, we choose to live, we choose to die, we choose to love. But when you think about it, we don’t really make these choices. It seems as if we’re all programmed by Nature to do what we all do, as a daily basis. What happens when we come across a new kind of choice that we don’t know of? What happens when we don’t understand the choice? Sometimes it takes understanding of the purpose(s) of the choices we make, in order to make them. So, what happens when we can’t find that ‘Purpose’? We make the wrong choice(s). Sometimes in life we make wrong choices, wrong decisions.... and we’re said to learn from them. But if that were true, how come we still seem to have the ‘bind effect’ when we find ourselves stuck in a rut, in the matter of debating certain decisions based on choices? Once again.... we make the wrong choice. We all need to understand why we make the choices, or what brings us to having to make them. It seems as if we’re programmed to do everything else BUT make the right choices. Everything DOES happen for a reason..... And that’s why we learn from our mistakes. I found myself rather tied down the other day.... I’ve fallen back in love with my ex, and everything seemed to be working out perfectly until my OTHER ex contacts me.... and romances me. And that’s when I panicked. I had mixed emotions coming right after me from all sides, they came, they left, I chased them down, they knocked me down.... it was subtle. I couldn’t decide whether it was the fact that I still had feelings for him, or the fact that I’d be deceiving my lover by keeping this from him. I’m not sure whether I should, or shouldn’t keep this from him. Its bad enough we’ve been through a loophole with issues, and now everything was great until this happened. I find myself in a predicament. My heart tells me I should stay with my current lover, but my mind tells me I should get back with my ex. And you know what they say...... Mind over Matter. I can’t really explain how I feel, I mean.... I almost blacked out from all the confusion and mixed emotions, but, I can assure you.... IT FUCKING SUCKS. It’s as if no matter how hard I try, I seem to get stuck either way. When it comes to making a choice......... should you trust your heart or your mind?

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