“First IS the Worst”

In every person’s life... there’s a first for everything. There’s a first step, a first word, a first kiss, first dance, first time having sex, and even a first love. I’ve been wondering over these days why we can’t seem to attain something similar to our firsts. We throw ourselves out there exposed and vulnerable and never seem to take consideration to analyze and think about what we’re doing. We fell in love for the first time ages ago, and as all relationships -- it failed. But something about that first love never seems to fade away. It always haunts us and gives us the motivation to find more from where it came from. The only problem is -- we’ll never know where it came from. Lately I’ve been debating the ups and downs of this epiphany. Our first love was grand, up. It fell apart, down. It gives us inspiration to involve in another relationship, up. But as always – all relationships fail, down. It’s pretty funny when you think about it, I mean, here we are – lusting for our past. It’s as if we’re still clinging onto what we should be getting the hell away from. Maybe that’s the real reason as to why relationships are so hard these days. We constantly seek something close to one of our past experiences, something so grand, so pure. We strive for that same kind of warmth we felt when we fell in love for the first time. We want this, so it can feel innocent and pure and perfect. It seems as if nowadays, we’re not really searching for Love, but rather the innocence of that particular relationship. One minute; we’re trying to get away from the past. The next; we’re running back to it. It makes me wonder.............. Where the hell are we going?