My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

"The Boy Who Cried... WHAT!?"

I've found myself back in the rave scene a few months ago, and still... it's as entrancing (literally) as ever. Except this time, it's different. I've found a great deal of interest for someone I don't even talk to, at least not on more than a 10 word (TOPS) basis.

The whole thing started one night in November (of course, at a rave) when this guy: so gorgeous, so mysterious and a great dancer (what more can you ask for?); steps right in front of me and fondles with my mind with his morbid light-show expertise.
Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the fact that my emotional repression had me vulnerable... but what ever it was, had me wanting more. But of course, like most men, before I even found myself interested... he disappeared. I thought to myself; "Now what kind of sick fucking joke is this!?" and I also thought I could possible never see him again... but then I did.

A month, give or take 2 weeks later, I saw him again at yet another party. This time was different, because I was dancing and he came and danced with me. Of course, we properly introduced ourselves shortly after.

So he goes by "V".
I'm not sure what it stands for, but on that particular night... it stood for "Victim", because this time, I took the liberty in being the one who disappears.

I (might) have it all figured out.
"V" is someone who has a wicked game; he prowls, targets and delivers the bait. Not enough to get you full, but enough to know that's where to go for more. In a non sugar-coated way to say it... TO MAKE YOU FUCKING OBSESSED.

Yet another 2, maybe 3 weeks later... we acquainted yet again. It was different. I had eaten shrooms prior to going into the party and it really had a subtle effect on me. I was freaking Bi-Polar; going from Cool to Loser in a matter of seconds. Of course, that meant no dancing; no hype... just No.

Clearly he sensed something was wrong when he concisely asked if I was o.k. and clearly he knew more than me when he asked; "Bad Trip?"
This, coming from a guy I've only sort of met twice before, blew my mind --- given the fact that I, somehow, kept him interested enough to know me; even if not completely and just when I thought I couldn't be more right... he gave me his number.

Now I'm thinking; "Do I call or mimic his own game and keep it 'Hard To Get' ?"
And so I did... until the night of the next rave, last week, when I called him to see whether or not he'd be at the party (even though he would). But that wasn't my only intention.
I played it smooth; kept myself anonymous, mysterious and quite the smart-ass... thus Desirable.

So, at the party, I saw him. But he didn't see me... and I kept it that way until we walked right passed each other, when I gently knuckled him on the arm to say "Hey". Followed by a glorified "Hey!" and a hug in return... along with the words; "Were you the one who called me today?"
So, smartass me, scratched my chin and said "Maybe"...
He laughed.
I walked away and avoided him for the rest of the night but he seemed to find his way to me.

Asshole.

And finally, after successfully avoiding him again... I left the party early, and he hadn't a clue.
I have this insane scenario in my head, where at the next party, I'm at the peak of my best and finally get the balls to approach him. But if all else fails, I'll need a back-up plan....

So what's a guy to do?




7 Comments:

Blogger Khevor said...

In an effort to *not* sound harsh, but stop playing games and stop getting involved (or trying to get involved) with people that you *know* are playing them as well. You enter into something that originated as a head game, then any relationship that sparks from it is going to be one long, and continuous head game.

If the idea is to end up an emotional basketcase and the victim of yet another unsuccessful relationship, then carry on. If you're looking for something real then you have to *be* real (and find someone that is also being real). Otherwise, you're doing nothing but revving your engine but stuck in neutral.

January 22, 2005 12:04 PM  
Blogger DJ hedRUSH said...

On the contrary...
I did mention finding a liking to him, but I didn't mention wanting any kind of relationship with him.

I'm simply researching. Indulging. Getting to know these "games" that people play and trying to ascertain Why, in fact, they play them. =)

But thanks for the reply.

January 27, 2005 1:44 PM  
Blogger Khevor said...

LOL! Good luck! People have so many reasons for playing games but none of them hold any more water than the average sieve. More often than not, it's a game of control. By playing games, they are thinking they're on top of the situation and see you (and anyone else, for that matter) as puppets dancing to their whims. To a lesser degree, it's so that they can keep hidden what they don't want you to know about them (there's a frightening prospect if dwelt upon too much).
Just be careful that you don't get caught up in the 'games.' What may start out as an experiment could easily go farther than you might like - and not necessarily in a good way. :-/

January 30, 2005 2:11 AM  
Blogger DJ hedRUSH said...

yeah. i agree.
it's no surprise the real reason as to why these proclaimed "games" are played is to avoid the possibility of getting hurt.
when in reality, it's even more hurting, moreso to the degree of knowing that you're practically lying to yourself and others, for that matter... for the sake of being "safe".

who's to say you can ever be safe? especially in a world where crime is increased by percentages and sirens are made for alert.

funny how there's no siren for 'relationships' and/or whatnot, ensuring Safety.

February 23, 2005 7:55 PM  
Blogger John Michaels said...

agrees with Khevor

February 23, 2005 7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never trust people who go by a letter as opposed to an actual name.

October 08, 2005 10:33 PM  
Blogger DJ hedRUSH said...

LMAO! I never looked at it that way. That's clever.

October 28, 2005 8:54 AM  

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