My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Monday, January 17, 2011

More than sure. I'm absolutely POSITIVE.

Online dating has become the most core substratum of what makes gay men alike interact, and frankly quite the nuisance. Every profile almost always seem repetitive and mundane. Every one man is "Athletic" build but pictures show no evidence of such claims. Every other guy has an 8" to 9" penis, but contrary to again what pictures dictate, someone clearly never taught them how to measure their tool. Napolean Complexes have gone rampant in this divided little community of online players. But the most callous and seemingly injust detail I've grown to get sick of is when said person broadcasts his last STD testing date.

It never ceases to confuse me as to why that is even remotely relevant. Does it show that the person is concerned enough with themselves, and responsible enough, to take themselves to the local free clinic bi-monthly to test themselves? Does it say "Hey! Look at me! I'm an adult and look after myself?" A lot of the profiles you'll see on a gay "dating" website will almost always say when their last STD test was and "DD Free" -- which means "Drug and Disease Free." But riddle me this... Just as much as you expect others to assume that by listing your last STD testing date, you are subjectively inclined to be treated as "Negative"; would it be unwise to suggest that those same people who post their last STD testing date are also showing that they obviously must have put themselves at risk for STDs and HIV, by having unprotected sex just because two people meeting may say they are both Negative? Let's face it, kids... You're only fooling yourself in believing that just because you test negative, everything will be fine. And just because you tested negative, does NOT mean you should go ahead and have unprotected sex just because the other person claims they are negative, too. There are still other STDs out there that don't necessarily act on what's in your bloodstream, but rather certain bacterias that may invade your system.

My name is Mario Ion, and I am one year into being HIV Positive.

It's alarming how many gay dating websites have the HIV Status checkbox for "Negative," "Positive," "Don't know," or "Rather not say." but no checkboxes for all the other STDs out there... As if HIV is as bad as it gets. Here's a thought... Wear a rubber? You should look at everyone as if they too were positive and just wrap it up. Condoms go a long way, and pretty much EVISCERATE the potential to contract HIV. But I think the most preposterous thing I've come across in these gay dating websites are other HIV+ men who put "Anything Goes" as their answer for whether or not they practice safe sex. Two Positives don't make a Negative, and that only implicates your health more, as you may reinfect yourself and start the process over again on a more multiplied level(s).

There's no clichè sob story to feed you as to how I contracted it. I'm just the average young adult who makes stupid mistakes sometimes, and often gets lost in moments that seem to cloud my judgment or my sense of responsibility. And I've always been the monogamous relationship type of guy, whose only fault is that I trust people too easily and give them the benefit of the doubt. That said, yeah, I slipped -- I trusted someone I was with, and deal with the consequence of that mistake now. Though I wouldn't call it a consequence... It's really not as bad as people make it out to be.

TRUTH: You are more inclined to getting sick. HIV works against your immune system, so some key factors include: healthy diet; maintaining vitamins and minerals in your bloodstream; treating your body with respect, and by that I mean not binge drinking or taking commercial drugs "recreationally" or any type of selfish vice that may juxtapose your health.

TRUTH: You are the most contagious the first couple of months after contracting HIV; as the proteins reproduce and bind to your cells. But that doesn't suggest you're a walking timebomb. After some time, your body can and most likely will produce anti-bodies that may work with HIV. In most cases, patients don't even need medications to control the strains.

I myself am not on medications just yet because it wasn't suggested by my doctor. She said my levels are just fine and my diet is accomodating my body just right. Blood sugars, fat, cholesterol, vitamins, minerals, are all very good and my blood is apparently rich. And my Nutritionist suggested that if I keep this up, I may never even need the medications. I look at this virus as a god damned miracle. Before I had it, I was a naive child who'd do stupid shit; drink like crazy, do drugs, have sex all the time, barely even taking my vitamins and eating all sorts of junk food. Now? Now I'm treating myself and my body with respect.

Maybe if it was still 1970's, 80's, and even most of 90's, where there wasn't much knowledge of the virus and subsequently not enough proper care to provide it, it would be a big deal. But we are in 2011 now and frankly, HIV is nowhere near as bad as it used to be. You can live a healthy, long, normal life with it and in most cases not even really be affected by it; it's just there. Lingering. Controllable. Much like the average person with Diabetes can live a normal life, one with HIV can as well.

So with that said, I implore any HIV discriminating asshole to go ahead and educate yourself with it, and how it works. And please, stop discriminating us. You'd be surprised how easy it is to live with, and how much of a good guy you're missing out on all for the sake of some silly little mainstream status.


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