Times is Tough

Did I leave an impression; the right one or the wrong one? Did I leave enough for him to be interested in? Does he like me? Better yet -- does he absolutely hate me? Why won't he answer? Why won't he reply? ... These are the questions that often plague our minds in the most common setting -- after a date. A date that can start from anything: a glance, a wink, a smile, a whisper, or a handshake. And it's these same questions that often leave us becoming our own worst enemies.

First impressions are always the ones that stick, no matter how hard you may try to redeem your mark. What you present to the table from the very start is exactly what they will always expect from you. Certain mannerisms, behaviours, certain tones and octave ranges often dictate the sincereity in your vocals; how well you maintain your physical appearance denotes how well you respect yourself. How mature or immature you come across signifies where you are in life, or in other cases what you've learned from it. It's ironic -- they say the small things in life are what add up to the bigger picture(s) -- yet the most commendable justifications are the bigger issues: Where you're from, what school you went to, working track records, income, self-sufficiency, goals, dreams, and all that stuff in between that cultivate the transcension from young adult to man.

To be successful in dating, to date, often means you yourself have to be successful, feet planted into the ground and all. People are generally afraid of becoming some parental figure in a relationship, and most of it stems from having to fend for themselves. There are two classes of people in this world: ones who made it and ones who are still trying to. Suffice to say in today's post-modern dating mecca, people are more quick to push you aside or shrug you off if you've followed a different renegade path than they're used to. Goals and motivations do play a big part in maintaining some appeal to another person in that respect, but get real: who ever really gives someone a chance unless they've made their marks in their lives?

If he's not calling you back, he has nothing to say to you. If he's not responding to your texts or emails, he doesn't know what to say. If he's giving you the cold shoulder treatment, yeah -- he isn't busy; he's just not interested.

We live in a new-aged shallow division of socialites. Ideals overpower wisdoms and standards beget morals; whereas fundamental emotional classifications graded by life experiences are either frowned upon or looked up to, depending on how well one maintains. But in our shallow little global gay community, it goes a lot further than that. Sex-Appeal begets idealism, while napolean complexes fueled by frequent gym-goers goes hand-in-hand with the fallacy of looking like you are in good condition -- when really -- you're not. And they say never judge a book by its cover... I can see why. We're so quick to mainstreamize our ideals with general concerns induced by media and public icons; yet we forget the ones we grew up believing and justifying.

Expectations are the mother of all pretenses we grow to experience in the dating era. And if you don't meet someone's expectations or ideals rather, there's no real chance for you to even GET the chance for you to make your mark. It's all gotta look flashy and nice up front and from the get-go, otherwise your chances are tethering the brink of flailing and wearing tenuously thin.