My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Monday, January 03, 2005

“News of the Year”

Life and Death,
Rebirth and Redeath…
It all seems pointless when you try and find its value.

The good guys die because the bad guy’s got the gun.
The bad guy’s trial gets dismissed because he had enough money and/or power to convince his lawyer and psychiatrist to take part in his plea of Legal Insanity; or at least to convince the Judge he’s not a dangerous person—only because he’s helping his henchmen make a living.
People underestimate it and sometimes even overrate it—just to profit from it.
Frankly, you have it; if you have Value (a.k.a. Money, in Today’s world.)

On New Year’s Day, my mother had a minor Heart-Attack.
When I called her to check in on her, she had mentioned it wasn’t the first time…
And then I got to thinking about her Value to me—in terms of connectivity—on a scale of Emotions and Parenthood.
I never met my father and she wasn’t always there in my life as I grew up and became who I am today (even though I’m still trying to ascertain who—in fact—I have become)

In a world where background overlooks potency and power is only given to those who were born in the background with that certain eligible asset…
It’s no surprise when you and the family are the only ones who grieve for a sickly loved one.
Whereas if you had Power, Value (lowercase Money), and that fucking Background…
NY1 has you covered, literally.

Everything—Value, Background, Power—even accounts for who you’re eligible to date; Which unfortunately, makes my biggest mistake the one when I left the only person who ever loved me—for me, and not my fucking power or background but rather my value—to him—as another human being, trying to make it out; Alive, Well and Powerfully in love.

Life is full of surprises.
You can spite something (or someone) one minute, in the light of all they hadn’t done for you.
Or even for trying to do something; for you, for him, for “us”.
And then the next minute—it tests you, by either taking it away or warning you (via Heart-Attack) to take desperate measures and get your shit together.

But tell me…
Why is it everyone’s karma to pull together for the things that hadn’t loved you, and get taken away from the thing(s) or Person that did?!

After all my efforts, achievements and under-achievements; struggles, bouts, break-ups and break-downs; successes and short-comings…

I still don’t know who I am.
What my Value is.
Or even what Power(s) I have.

All I know is…
It’s time to take desperate measures.