My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

"The Boy Who Cried... WHAT!?"

I've found myself back in the rave scene a few months ago, and still... it's as entrancing (literally) as ever. Except this time, it's different. I've found a great deal of interest for someone I don't even talk to, at least not on more than a 10 word (TOPS) basis.

The whole thing started one night in November (of course, at a rave) when this guy: so gorgeous, so mysterious and a great dancer (what more can you ask for?); steps right in front of me and fondles with my mind with his morbid light-show expertise.
Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the fact that my emotional repression had me vulnerable... but what ever it was, had me wanting more. But of course, like most men, before I even found myself interested... he disappeared. I thought to myself; "Now what kind of sick fucking joke is this!?" and I also thought I could possible never see him again... but then I did.

A month, give or take 2 weeks later, I saw him again at yet another party. This time was different, because I was dancing and he came and danced with me. Of course, we properly introduced ourselves shortly after.

So he goes by "V".
I'm not sure what it stands for, but on that particular night... it stood for "Victim", because this time, I took the liberty in being the one who disappears.

I (might) have it all figured out.
"V" is someone who has a wicked game; he prowls, targets and delivers the bait. Not enough to get you full, but enough to know that's where to go for more. In a non sugar-coated way to say it... TO MAKE YOU FUCKING OBSESSED.

Yet another 2, maybe 3 weeks later... we acquainted yet again. It was different. I had eaten shrooms prior to going into the party and it really had a subtle effect on me. I was freaking Bi-Polar; going from Cool to Loser in a matter of seconds. Of course, that meant no dancing; no hype... just No.

Clearly he sensed something was wrong when he concisely asked if I was o.k. and clearly he knew more than me when he asked; "Bad Trip?"
This, coming from a guy I've only sort of met twice before, blew my mind --- given the fact that I, somehow, kept him interested enough to know me; even if not completely and just when I thought I couldn't be more right... he gave me his number.

Now I'm thinking; "Do I call or mimic his own game and keep it 'Hard To Get' ?"
And so I did... until the night of the next rave, last week, when I called him to see whether or not he'd be at the party (even though he would). But that wasn't my only intention.
I played it smooth; kept myself anonymous, mysterious and quite the smart-ass... thus Desirable.

So, at the party, I saw him. But he didn't see me... and I kept it that way until we walked right passed each other, when I gently knuckled him on the arm to say "Hey". Followed by a glorified "Hey!" and a hug in return... along with the words; "Were you the one who called me today?"
So, smartass me, scratched my chin and said "Maybe"...
He laughed.
I walked away and avoided him for the rest of the night but he seemed to find his way to me.


And finally, after successfully avoiding him again... I left the party early, and he hadn't a clue.
I have this insane scenario in my head, where at the next party, I'm at the peak of my best and finally get the balls to approach him. But if all else fails, I'll need a back-up plan....

So what's a guy to do?

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

"A Message To The Masses"

We're building a culture in a society that can resist genocide. It is a culture of total resistance to mind-controlling maniacs. A culture of high-energy systems ridding of hippy acid-smiles and communism, waiting to be cleansed of people we can be.......
It's a culture that can take care of its people.

I'm just tired of this bullshit and I'm tired of people telling us we need to hide behind weapons. They're only plaguing the situation. They're not really doing anything for us, they're just trying to silence us. They think they're actually doing something.

This is the thing that people refuse to understand...
We seem to say that War is part of Human Nature.. We don't NEED to accept war. PEACE is REALITY, just as much as War is Reality. But for some reason, people are more scared of living with one another in harmony and looking out for each other than trying to kill one another. When both are just as equally attainable.

And what would you rather have...
Sitting there, looking at your brother; squared at eye-to-eye with a gun to his fucking hand...
Or would you rather look your brother straight in the eye and fucking shake hands and understand?
Peace is Reality.
and the only way that we're only going to be able to acheive this and let go of this bullshit idea that war is just part of human evolution and is completely discapable, is to let go. We need to LET go in order to be able to regain control.

And the Government...
They're the hardest group to infiltrate....
That's because the culture and the idea one can live by, can only be lived in total resistence to imperial disaster.