My So-Called Love Life

This site -- my anthology -- is the story of a man, a young man, trying to find his way to love. Experiencing everything in between and serving you his heart on a silver-freaking-platter to the naked eye, for the whole world to see; relate, indulge, delve, and hopefully learn from his mistakes. Happy Dating! Copyright © 2004-2011, "My So-Called Love Life" ® Mario Ion. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, March 12, 2004

“The City That Never Dreams” (Part Two)

Once upon a time.... there lived a man, who would always run. Run away from his past, to make it to his future. He would attempt the unthinkable, as long as it would get him away from his past. He was desperate to seek the future, and what it has in store for him. But, little did he know.... he was running forever. There is no past, there is no future. We’re all stuck in the Present, forever. Nobody realized it as well as this man did, whenever he DID realize it. He found himself constantly running, constantly journeying through nothing just to seek out this ‘future’, but then he realized he’ll never stop running. We all wonder what the future holds for us, and we’ve all claimed to have had an impact within the past. But, neither of it is true. We’re always stuck in the Present.... I mean, sure.... the time changes, days change, you age, your appearance differs, and the weather changes. But that’s all there is to it. We all progress through the days, the months, the years.... thinking we’d reach the future, but, as time changes.... so do we. And that causes our perspectives, perceptions, outlooks and point of views to change along with the time. Thus causes us to be caught up in a different type of ‘Present’. There is no Future, there is no Past. There is only the Present. And we can never escape it. We all dream these dreams, hope these hopes, wish these wishes.... but in the end, that’s all they’ll ever be. Dreams... Hopes... Wishes. And that’s all our so-called ‘Future’ will ever be.... Dreams, Hopes, Wishes. When you think about it.... it doesn’t make much of a difference if you were to attain this ‘Future’, because you’d only THINK it were a future. But none the less, it never is. It’s always present. It’s never new. Sure, romances, relationships, homes, ages, jobs, etc. can be new.... and if that’s true then, you’d think we’re in the future. No. We’ll always be in the present. We’ll always change along with the time... with the days... with the weather. We can only hope for a future.............. but in reality.... time stands still.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

“The Eviction”

Shame... we all have it. We all deal with it, and we all avoid confrontation with it. But how can we ever ascertain our pride if we don’t deal with our shame first? We all try to deny off our shame by hiding, and keeping to ourselves, so that others won’t see our self-pity, our angst, our sorrow... our shame. We all try our best to be proud of ourselves, by making something of ourselves, for others. But then something happens... something compellingly life-changing. And our pride, our glory... has been taken over by shame, guilt, depression, and regret. Independence is something we all have, but there comes a time in life where you WILL need the help of someone else. I mean, we can’t ALWAYS resolve something on our own. So, until we evaluate our self-pity, we deal with the 5 Stages of Shame.

Stage 1) Anger
Stage 2) Depression
Stage 3) Re-assurance
Stage 4) Confrontation
Stage 5) Acceptance (and deciding to use the help of someone else)

Sometimes things in life are meant to be, so that we learn from our mistakes and grieve from our independence so that we can learn how to accept other’s as factors in our lives. Sometimes the help of someone else is all that you have to deal with whatever the problem(s) is. They say independence is the key to one’s own self... but how can that be true if we come to a point in our lives where we desperately seek the help of another? Or where the help of another is truly the only thing you’ve got... as a first AND last resort? I can’t help but wonder... When it comes to Independence....... being the ‘key’ to one’s own self....... does it really only hold the key to letdown?

“The City That Never Dreams”

New York City… “The City That Never Sleeps”, consisted of over 2 million men, and 2 million women. But unfortunately, the majority of the City’s population is in fact, Singles. Its funny how there’s so many great married men or women, but hardly any great unmarried men or women. They call New York City; “The City that Never Sleeps.” It’s true, it never sleeps… because everybody’s either getting laid, and trying to get laid… or not getting laid at all. But if the City never sleeps… what happens to the dreams, the hopes, the goals, and the future? OK, call me insane but, if the city never sleeps, and everybody’s awake, in hopes they’ll find what they’re after… it seems as if we’re all living in a fantasy. I mean, here we are… content on finding Love, or Romance, or even a good fuck. But we never really consider our lives OUTSIDE of these factors… these issues. We always think “Inside the Box” and never out. So how can we ever really know what we want, what we’re after… if all we do about is jump, jump, jump… without any range as to how high we’re jumping? We all throw ourselves out into the world, the life... without any true ideal of what’s out there for us. We only accept whatever it throws at us, pleasantly, without taking the time to consider whether it’s right or wrong. So, we wait… Till we figure it out on our own, the hard way. Thus -- leading us to become heartbroken. We never Sleep… we never Dream. Its funny how we venture out on our ways, to chase after our “Fantasies” but eventually, we get disappointed. I thought fantasies we’re these ‘dreams’ that are supposed to satisfy our desires? We never take any consideration for our actions… we just run. We just chase after our fantasies, our impulses, our desires… and we NEVER chase after our realities. Could it be because we’re scared of reality? Or maybe because we know our Fantasies will always seem to satisfy our urges, our impulses… without any disappointment? What I don’t understand is… we live in a REALITY, where Fantasies are just Dreams. And the City never sleeps. Go figure. It kind of makes me wonder ------- When it comes to Fantasies, in a City that never Sleeps, nor Dreams... where Reality never meets Truth, nor Fiction………. Aren’t ‘Fantasies’ supposed to please us, rather than get us hurt?

Monday, March 08, 2004


Ever wonder what it would be like, to live this life without a care, without any desperation, without any hopes, without any fears, without any doubts? Yeah… you’d think it’d be pleasant. In fact, it wouldn’t. It would be as dull as Martha Stewart’s trial. See… In life, we need all these seemingly pointless hopes, desperations, fears, doubts… because it’s these ordeals that get us places. Whether it’s college, or a job, or even a relationship…. We just need them. We all get to a point in our lives where we attack ourselves with the ‘What ifs’ and ‘buts’, and we claim it isn’t normal, nor healthy for our emotions. But the truth is, it IS normal, it IS healthy. We need the ‘What ifs’ and ‘buts’ to debate certain decisions, or deal with certain situations. We can’t ALWAYS think positive about something. We all need to be negative at times. Some say pessimism isn’t any good… but I’m sure they’ve taken advantage of their pessimism to benefit from the outcomes. So why do we try to deny off our negative values, and try to elapse it for our positive values? I mean, it isn’t necessarily bad to have negative and positive views on varied subjects. It’s absolutely normal. It’s not like we’re positive, as human beings. We have negative facts about us. Negative point of views at times. So why deny it, when it’s part of who you are? It’s a factor between the entities of Positive and Negative theological examinations of all Life’s obstacles. When it comes to Optimism and Pessimism, why are they two different words when every human being is consisted of both?